Once again we were discussing the fact that a year ago , no one
(especially not me) could have envisioned that I’d be flying a plane. So he
asked the above question, “What has changed? How come you can do this now?” Was
it the fact that I was happier at work? At home? In our new country?
I honestly can’t give a
straight answer. I can never understand myself what finally convinced me to
start this process. I can tell you though, that it is self-feeding. The more I
achieve, no matter how small, the more I feel I can do.
I still maintain that the
spins lesson was the major turning point. I can never describe the sheer level
of doom, dread and terror that accompanied the long walk and ferry ride to that
lesson. I’m sufficiently embarrassed by
the method I used to talk myself into that plane that I’m not going to blog
about it (just think of the embarrassing stuff I have blogged about , that
should give you an idea of how hard that is for me to say.)
Of course all this new found
confidence has its price. I still have stuff in life that freaks me out but RTH
is a lot less patient about it now. For example I don’t like ladders (I feel I
lack the physical coordination to successfully tackle them), we were at an
observatory last night, grabbing a peek at Jupiter through a 74inch telescope.
This necessitates climbing a set of ladder steps. I was less than enthusiastic
about the process. I was considering not attempting it. RTH’s take on it was
“For God’s sake woman, you just flew a plane, get your arse up that ladder!”
Meh, he may have a point!
* I do tend to be a bit exuberant on return from a lesson. Normally
I have the walk home to calm me down a bit!
You are definitely not alone in these feelings - the euphoria after a good lesson, feeling sick with fear leading up to dreaded lessons. But one thing you may not be realizing at this point in your journey is that you find out quite a lot about yourself in the process. Things that you thought you were incapable of doing seem not so in surmountable now you can safely take a complex machine like an aircraft and fly it around the sky by yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt's great to see you have surprised yourself at your progress, who knows what you will be able to do in the future?
I really don't think I'm the same person who started this blog. Profound stuff huh?
ReplyDelete