The next step

As I mentioned before, after a fairly extensive debrief from the last flight, we started talking about “where we go next”. Bob has always been very good at keeping an open dialogue about where I am in my training and what needs to happen before we hit the next stage.

I was reasonably happy with the way most things had gone. Getting there, getting back, feeling my way around the practice area and its boundaries. Thing is, my opinion isn’t the one that counts. Bob has to be totally sure. 100%. Not just that I can handle the mundane stuff, but if something were to happen out there he needs to have confidence in my ability to make the right choice.

Because of this it is very hard to describe the feelings that I experienced when he, oh so casually said, “So I think next time if the conditions are right we’ll send you out there solo.”

To have someone exhibit that level of trust, that much confidence in your abilities, well it means a lot to me. I’m feeling a strange mix of pride, excitement, anticipation, trepidation, confidence and uncertainty.

For the first time, I might actually believe Bob when he says I can do this. I’ve blogged right from the beginning about how there’s this little voice inside of me that sows the seeds of doubt, that tells me that I’m being humoured, that I’m just plain lucky out there. No skill required. That voice is getting smaller and quieter. I wonder if it will ever disappear completely?

I can’t wait for my next lesson. Conditions permitting, it’ll be a couple of circuits with Bob and then off to Claremont solo.

I say I’m looking forward to it now, by the time my next lesson comes around I’ll probably be scared stupid and vomiting again. I bet you're looking forward to that blog post!

Nothing really changes!