Investigation – day one

 (written Jan 7/8 2013, 2 days after the incident)

Again, a while will have passed since this actually happened but I’m writing it while fresh in my head.

Last night I got a phone call, in which it was kind of casually mentioned that the incident was “being investigated” as a result of the Porter pilot making some kind of report. This was on top of the request for me to pull the YouTube video as well as sending a copy to the flight school owner.

As of yet I don’t know anything. I don’t know what type of “report” was made, I don’t know who is “investigating” it. I don’t know who or what is being investigated. I don’t know what the potential outcomes might be. I don’t know if I should be worried.*

I kind of feel like the suspect who is “helping police with their inquiries”. It starts off very pleasant and amicable but at some point you realize you’re in a hole and should have had a lawyer from the start.

A lot of possible outcomes are weighing heavily on my mind at the moment. I am seriously considering the possibility that I may lose my license before I’ve even gained it. There’s the possibility that the flight school may terminate my training, whether officially or (more likely) by someone having a quiet word with me. I think it’s extremely likely that they may require me to fly with the Chief Flight Instructor before doing anything else. And while I can see their point, I’m feeling emotionally fragile enough as it is. I can do without the added scrutiny of a check-ride like flight with the CFI and all the pressure that will bring. I don’t actually think it will be beneficial to me.

If it comes down to that, I may put this all on hold for a period of time if not permanently. I’ve blogged all along that secretly I’ve expected to get to the point where I’ll have achieved all I can and will be politely told to call it a day. Maybe now is that time. This annoys me a little bit because until I got that phone call I’d managed to persuade myself that I should carry on. Now I’m having second thoughts.

Part of me also thinks that I’m being punished, just a little bit, for the massive inflation of my ego that flying has caused. Up until a day or so ago. I felt that I could take on the world and I let everyone know it. I was probably boring beyond belief to be around. I’m paying for that now.

* Whether I should be or not, I am.