I don’t wanna solo today

Bob’s really sensitive to my mood, I guess you have to be as a flight instructor. He noted that I wasn’t “as gung-ho as I had been last week.”

He was right and I’m not entirely sure why. The weather was better than the forecast, the winds light and variable and cloud base not really an issue for circuits. I did feel a higher than usual degree of anxiety than I had for a while. I think I still have a mental challenge over runway 08, which the winds were favouring today and it’s for a stupid, stupid reason.

I don’t like the lack of run up area. I don’t like trying to position myself between the other traffic trying to get past and have visions of me getting myself stuck in a corner that will necessitate me inadvertently either crossing the hold short line, getting stuck in the grass or wiping out a line of taxi lights.

I’d just like to point out that I’ve never come remotely close to doing any of the above but still it bothers me apparently.

We did some circuits, it was a little busy. I somehow lost the ability to communicate coherently on the radio. I didn’t really make any mistakes (apart from requesting the wrong runway on one circuit, luckily what I’d asked for made no sense, so both ATC and I got it sorted fairly quickly!) but I did produce some of the most bizarre readbacks and acknowledgements you’ve ever heard.

My landing s were Ok(ish), one overshoot because ATC kept haranguing me to keep it in tight until at one point I just couldn’t lose the altitude quick enough. Bob reckoned we’d have made it down but I was off track, too high and uncomfortable so a go around was called. At some points I was noticing the lack of performance in the climb and putting it down to the high density altitude when in reality I’d still got 10 degrees of sodding flaps down. Stupid little stuff like that. I asked Bob in my best whining voice “what’s w  r  o  n  g with me today?” (I’m really good at whining, I do an awesome " I don't wanna go to school today!")

He didn’t have an answer (or perhaps lacked the time to give a full response!) and called for a full stop on the next circuit. I was unsure what our next step was, would he want to get out and let me go on my own? Did I actually feel up to going solo? What would be worse, going solo and being stressed out  by it, or chickening out and knowing that I’d bottled it yet again?

So Bob made the call, told me to go up and have some fun. I told him I’d do ONE circuit just to keep my hand in and then probably call it quits.

I didn’t

I did more :-)