Fun on the radio

I’m a lot happier with my radio work now, at least in the control zone around City. Which is good because I’ve rapidly come to realise a couple of things: 1) my accent is instantly recognisable to anyone on the airwaves. No hiding for me. 2) People judge your flying ability based on what they hear.

I’ve certainly been guilty of #2, last lesson we had just exited at Foxtrot and I was waiting to be able to get a word in edgeways and get some taxi clearance back. There was another guy on the frequency. It was painful to listen to. He couldn’t get his hold short readback correct. It took many attempts. I was lucky in that no one had landed behind me and wanted off the runway too. I got a tad frustrated, I may have been screaming at the guy (not over the radio) as to what ATC actually wanted him to do. It wasn’t difficult really! Even Bob was heard to remark dryly “I’ve negotiated a mortgage quicker than that guy got his taxi clearance!”

While I feel a certain degree of sympathy, no one finds radio work easy at first but even I subscribed to the adage when I was first learning “ Don’t press the trigger until you know what you are going to say” Large pauses off the air are better than a whole string of “umms and errs,”  on the air.

I know I was judging him, probably unfairly, because after I got my taxi clearance I was heard to comment to Bob “I’m just gonna wait until he gets out of the way because he doesn’t sound like he knows what he’s doing”

I hope that I project the opposite to ATC; I think that I sound like I know what I’m doing. I’m certainly trying really hard even if I do still get Ground and Tower mixed up (although to be fair they don’t make it any easier by dualling up on the frequencies). I’ve even got to the stage where I can anticipate what ATC might say to me, even pre-empt it on occasion, for example if I’m about to request taxi clearance and I see a plane being pushed back well then I might as well say “Request taxi to Hanger, I see the Dash 8 and will give way” because let’s face it they aren’t going to stop them for me, and I’ve just saved a back and forth between me and ATC.

On the flip side I think ATC get a pretty good picture of how I’m doing up there by the stress levels in my radio calls. A nice standard circuit in calm wind conditions might hear my readback as being a nice calm controlled “Cleared touch and go 26 Juliet Papa Mike” but if things start going a bit wonky or I’m in a 11 gusting 18 knot crosswind then they are lucky if they get a “julietpapamike” kind of exhaled at them. Sometimes I think they even take pity on me, after a particularly gruelling crosswind circuit session they kindly pointed out to me that an alternative runway was available.

So along with the commercial traffic who forget what their current callsign is (this always amuses me , but I totally understand how it happens), you have the student pilots with carrying levels of expertise along with the various ground support vehicles as well.

Last lesson Bob and I were mildly amused to hear of the Raccoon vs Maintenance saga, it lasted the entire duration of my taxi and run up checks. I also relieved to hear that the bird found on the threshold of 08, “appeared to have died of natural causes”!

I swear I’m not making any of this up!