Decisions, decisions.

A mildly rough week at work, OK so some of it was self-inflicted, some of it was the usual bat shit craziness that comes with my workplace. Two things kept me going, the knowledge that this is a long weekend (and I’ve taken Tuesday off as vacation) and the knowledge that even the most pessimistic forecasters all agree that the weather was going to be totally bitchin’ flying wise!

Friday night arrived; I didn’t even bother to stalk the TAF like I normally do. It was obvious that the weather was going to be just great. I got a text from Bob pretty much confirming what I’d worked out for myself “winds look great for duel/solo circuits or we can stick with the original plan of out to the practice area and stalls. No hurry we can talk tomorrow”

Just to show you how much my mind flip-flops between emotional states, I was contemplating earlier this week broaching the subject of solo time with Bob. Intellectually I know that I need more of it and I actually want to get more of it. I felt this way right up until Saturday morning. Then reality bit. The familiar lead lump in the pit of my stomach, the adrenaline, the anxiety.

The decision wasn’t helped by the fact that the winds, although straight down the runway, were pushing 15 knots. This is right on the bubble for the school’s limits for solo students and although CYTZ’s TAF wasn’t showing anything CYYZ was calling for the winds to get gusty.

Oh the agony, Bob left he call up to me, as we stood by the dispatch desk. We both agreed that there was learning value in both options. I hesitated and procrastinated. I couldn’t decide. Bob spotted something was up. He led me in to the classroom next door to talk about it.

My usual honest self I admitted “I know I need to do both of these, but I’m worried that I’m avoiding both of them. I’m scared that by going to the practice area, I’m avoiding the solo time but I’m scared that by doing the solo then I’m avoiding the stalls.”

 Quietly Bob talked me through the circuit; what he was looking for, what I needed to work on, how much better my circuit flying had become. We talked through what the wind strength and direction meant in terms of crosswind drift. He reassured me that the stronger headwinds would make life easier for me.

And then calmly and matter of factly he told me we would do some dual and solo circuits. No option of “let’s get up there and see how you do.” If we did circuits I was going to solo. Bob provided the perfect counterpoint to my histrionics. Calm, unflappable, totally and utterly unwavering in his belief that I could do this. Not allowing me to talk myself out of it. Insistent yet reassuring that it was all going to be alright.

It wasn't "alright".

Actually it was freakin’ amazing!