Voices in my head

I’m someone who likes the sound of their own voice (Hence the blog). I spent a good ten years with a captive audience who were forced to listen to me. I still switch on to “teacher mode” occasionally (I’m sure the Gang from work will attest to this). So why am I so terrified about talking on the radio?

I’ve spent many an hour listening to ATC (yes my life is really that interesting). They seem to speak the same language as me (kinda, sorta). I’ve even visited the tower and they didn’t have three heads or tentacles or anything! But they are still the scariest people I know.

The thing is radio calls have a set procedure that you are meant to follow (we even have to pass an exam on it). Even emergency calls have a set pattern. Screaming “OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!” just doesn’t cut it. Now I don’t like getting things wrong, at all. So this panics me. I’ve heard people get stuff wrong before and one of two things happens, either ATC laughs at you and gently suggests something based on what you were trying to say. Or they get annoyed with you and tersely correct you. Neither scenario is the end of the world.

I have discovered something that is worse than talking to ATC and that’s being in the uncontrolled airspace around the practice area. Here the whole see and avoid thingy of flying VFR means that you have to tell people where you are in the vain hope that they might avoid dinging your shiny aircraft.  It can get busy out at the practice area. I hear lots of voices in my head (I know they are real, Bob hears them too). At times I just want to scream “SHUT THE F@#** UP, DON’T YOU KNOW SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO FLY A PLANE!”, but apparently that could cost me up to $5000 and a year in prison.