Wednesday 18 July 2012

A shamelessly indulgent post

I know that my screw ups are far more interesting to read about, don’t worry I still have pleeenty of posts about those things. This post however is shamelessly self-indulgent. I am overwhelmed by what I’ve actually achieved to date.  I reflect a great deal on each lesson in the hope that I can learn something.  It suddenly occurred to me after today’s lesson that something fundamental has changed. One of those milestones that are not measured in flying hours or hurdles passed. I am no longer afraid.

This may sound like an odd thing to say but at the start I was near paralyzed by my anxiety. It prevented me from being able to listen effectively, process information and make effective decisions. Today’s lesson was action packed. I was near or beyond my capacity to carry out tasks, but I wasn’t frightened. For at least the first 5 lessons or so I was constantly fighting against a bubble of panic rising up inside me. That appears to have gone. I really think that the spins lesson was the turning point. I was truly terrified at the mere thought of that lesson. I don’t know how Bob managed to pry my fingers off the dashboard long enough to get me to fly the plane (for that matter I don’t know how he managed to get me into the plane). After that everything else seemed trivial in comparison.

No comments:

Post a Comment