A weird thought occurred to me, I probably have less flying hours
left before I get my Licence than I ever intended to take in the first place.
Remember I only ever intended on taking around 10 hours of flight
training. Enough for the very basics. Enough to be a help rather than a hindrance
to RTH in the cockpit. That’s when I started this blog. I had about 10 hours
and the idea in the back of my head that at some point soon I was going to reach
the limit of what I was capable of.
I’d approach every lesson with that sinking feeling that today
would be the flight where Bob’d decide that I’d reached my limit. I was genuinely
waiting for him to say “let’s call it a day.” Now I’m waiting on him to say “let’s
talk dates” for my flight test.
At the moment it seems like a completely rational, sensible, sane
idea that I’m heading for my check ride.
I can see the progression in my flying, my knowledge, my decision making
processes and my ability to assimilate multiple sources of information.
And then I take a step back and think about the enormity of it all.
I oscillate back and forth between thinking that I’m just a hair
breadth away from hitting those standards and it’ll come to me soon. That’ll it
be no big deal, I’m safe and proving that to an examiner will be a breeze. And
thinking that it’s going to remain tantalisingly out of my grasp. That the
chances of me making just one stupid mistake are high enough that I’ll never
get there.
I know that Bob thinks I can do it, but I also know he’ll be
crossing his fingers the entire time. Because I suspect even he has mixed
feelings about this. He’s easy to read sometimes. I can see the satisfaction and
respect in his expression when I pull off a flawless takeoff or an impeccable
180 degree turn under the hood.
And then I see the look of exasperation as I do something stupid or
his look of mild incomprehension as I hesitate in stalling the plane, despite
my ability to recover from them more than adequately. The awkward way he tries
to broach the subject of “WMAP-you-really-can’t
scream-your-way-through-a-power-on-stall-because-the-examiner-isn’t-going-to-realise-that-you-actually-know-what-you-are-doing-he’s-going-to-assume-you’ve-lost-control-of-the-plane.”
Because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings but at the same time he just can’t
understand what the issue is. As far as he can see I know how to recover the
plane and I do it every time, if only I could shut my mouth a little!
Yeah I might only have a short time left in my training but it’s
going to be intense, that’s for sure.
I’m not sure how all this is going to pan out. Occasionally I let
myself dream of that moment when I hear the magic words that mean I’ve finally
achieved the impossible.
One thing I do know is that I wouldn’t have been able to get event
his far without Bob’s steady encouragement and unwavering belief in me.
And I will miss flying with him.
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