Flight safety is everyone’s top priority. In general pilots tend to
be risk-averse and conservative in nature. Sure there are always a few idiots
but in general we prefer to keep our planes intact and ourselves alive.
There have been many studies carried out in many different
countries and many millions of dollars spent all with the singular purpose of
improving flight safety.
In the light of such extravagant expenditure I feel it is only
right that I do my bit. So I have carried out my own study, based on direct
observations of a number of years and I’m pleased to tell you that I’m now in a
position to report my findings.
The single most effective way of ensuring a safe and uneventful
flight is………..
To remove all instructors from aircraft effective immediately.
You see I have noticed a direct correlation between there being an
instructor on board and the likelihood of the engine mysteriously quitting on
you!
Ok, you got me. This might be my not so subtle way of complaining
about the fact that I was happily in the circuit, after a reasonably good
flight in which I’d easily demonstrated my ability to land the plane after an engine
failure. I was quietly contemplating my last abomination of a landing
(seriously out of practice) and how I was going to claw the next one back when
I see Bob’s hand dive for the throttle. I’ve never managed to win the hand
slapping battle-of-the-throttle, so I resign myself to the inevitable, trying to
get it on the runway in one piece.
I manage, but it wasn’t pretty.
You and I are lucky LFE, we never get to experience the full repertoire of dirty tricks instructors have at their disposal. We can even look back to the golden age of aviation when Heath and Safety were guidelines rather than hard and fast rules. I have heard of old school instructors pulling the mixture and making students deadstick for real. And before you ask, no that has not happened to me, like you I learned to fly in the 21st century.
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